Elle

Elle te regardait avec les yeux fermés
Et quand elle les ouvrait
le soleil l'a faite taire. 

Tu lisais son âme
avec un seul regard
elle le savait sans t'opposer.

Elle pouvait voir
son propre corps 
en devenant complètement impuissant. 

On ne peut pas parler
en cette nouvelle dimension 
il n y a pas de voix, il n y a pas de mots. 

Elle est partie là

où tu la connaissait 

où on se comprenait sans explication.

Elle ne reviendra jamais

et le soleil brille toujours

elle est moi et toi, elle aime pour les deux.

  

Une femme domestique

Ils me regardent souvent
les yeux qui ont du faim
les yeux agités, d'un mâle

comme si j’étais un animal.

Je me suis habituée

d’être observée

comme une chatte sans prénom

comme une proie sans cachette.

Ils me cherchent, les mains

malgré la bague brillante

malgré l'intelligence 

et le manque d’intérêt. 

Je porte un fardeau de la culpabilité

pour être seule et vivante

pâle, blonde ou châtain

mes droits se noient dans ce désert. 

 

 

Everything changed

Today I've changed my ringtone -

an omen for new chapter

while some girls cut their hair,

I don't repeat such mistakes...

I've picked the song you couldn't stand

the one you mocked when it played

today I love it even more

it makes me happy with each call

Since I've stopped doing nails

I wear them boring and plain 

just the way you hate it,

small things bring change.

I got better I got smarter

like the women you dishonored

the ones you were afraid of

cause it was never you they cared for...

I've loved since those days

I've loved more than before

and I don't have to bother

what could be, what's it for.

Since I've met my freedom

in tiny moments, to this age

I could never go back

I could never love the cage.

Lady K Quilts, Madonna art (Ray of light)

111

I'll tell you a story

that hit me from the sky

a full heart in my coffee

without knowing why

an unexpected longing

that made me feel so sad

for all of the reasons

I just can't explain. 

It is not of me

It is not mine

yet the way it consumes me

it's almost cruel and unkind. 

The magic keeps flowing

it fills my early mornings

and I've quit chain smoking

I've quit worse than any high.

So when they say I've never had it

or how I've chosen safety gates

I just choke in the face

of what they call love and fate...

It's not of me

It's not mine

Or is it 

Am I that unkind

Bliss

I've heard ''keep it to yourself''

so I've swallowed knife in silence

I pretended I was hungry

I broke the iron bars.

I've escaped the boring questions

I woke up in different colors

the rain could not wash them 

so I prayed they would not last.

The floor went shaking slowly

my heart was beating fast

2 AM in the morning

it played Jumping Jack Flash. 

The music sounded holy

I felt bliss after the pain

but was that really glory,

heartbeats made of blade.

Discernment

The spirit of light                      ❤                                       The spirit of dark

                                                     Makes you....

peaceful                                                                                             inadequate
motivated                                                                                           careless               

thankful                                                                                            drained                                            

clear                                                                                                 insecure

safe                                                                                                  confused
capable                                                                                              cold
active                                                                                                passive
open                                                                                                  jealous
wise                                                                                                   persuasive   

free                                                                                                   dishonest

brave                                                                                                 manipulative

generous                                                                                             aggressive

present                                                                                               superficial

patient                                                                                               hungry for attention          

gentle                                                                                                 fearful

honest                                                                                                addicted                                            

worthy                                                                                                inconsistent
love oriented                                                                                        self  oriented
faithful                                                                                               gossip

simple                                                                                                 unreliable   

creative                                                                                              dependent

calm                                                                                                   exagerated  

willing                                                                                                 ashamed

dedicated                                                                                             deviant

  

Let the 2024. be the year of  wise discernment. If that means we should abandon some of the old relations and patterns, so let it be. It's the only way to give space to the new light. It might be enough to draw clear lines between you and some of your surrounding, instead of erasing every interaction completely. It's time to learn to handle life as it is and be who we are. It's time to make ourselves unlovable for everyone. When discerning in relations, some of of these states of spirit stay with us long after certain interactions and we pass it on to other relations. This is where we need to stop and reflect where do these feelings and thoughts come from. Sometimes we won't get the instant answers, but in time, truth will come to us. Dark is very clever but it's methods don't change ever. ''If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.'' This might warn us not to engage and adopt to the spirit of the dark, because once we show we are suitable target, it won't stop. We might slowly become the vessels of it too. The goal is to break the chain. Move away, do not engage. Do not feed it. Offering ourselves when motivated by the spirit of light makes us grow in power, not disappear. That's discernment. Let the year 2024. be all new and strong in light.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

  

If anything

No kindness has ever been ordinary

soft pillows do not bring a change

rules have no creation

and madness seems to be the only way.

If there's spark that ever mattered at all

it was in the mad ones and feelers

if there's anything important at all

it's out of these lines and inside believers.

No grace has ever been basic

no love has ever been lukewarm

truth never cared about the pricing

fire never had the second thought. 

He's still coming

Clowns and piggies

peacocks and pigeons

shady businessmen

in their trending suits

drunkards and dealers

scarred lips, local leaders

dancing for their summit

but He's still coming.

Can't say His name

they play their songs out loud

it's the fear of His day

as if the world should fall down.

Hiding through repetition

hiding behind the glass

they summoned Santa

but He still comes last.

For those in doubt

and hearts broken

those with hope

of a wounded child

those who don't care 

what world can offer

He comes as king 

of the moon and stars.

No need to cry

You were supposed to protect her 

teach her the world was safe.

You should have made her fall in love 

with her youth and her laugh.

You had the chance to light up her sky 

and grow her glowing wings.

You had such tremendous power

you got it from her heart. 

And now that all of it is gone, 

you still don't get it.

You were supposed to ignite her heart, 

not consume it. 

So if you're left thirsty, do not cry. 

Those wings have grown inward and backwards. 

Cloud Dragon by FireFlux Studios

Theft for illusion (The plan)

They tried but could not love her

They would not admit it.

Taking away everything

That made her part of this world

Gave them sense of deep pleasure

And morbid victory

Over something they could not have

Something they hated

Something she carried 

Who gave her that thing?

They had reasons to do that

They spoke of her flaws

But she had been a stain on their wall

Long before the anger

From the first day she spoke

And first day she wrote

This was a perfect chance to place her 

And show her who she was

Dependable, small, senseless, weak

Mute, rude and completely unnecessary. 

She chose not to contemplate this

And lived by the unlocked doors

Until few drinks spoke

Clearer than reason could ever

Revealing the old box

No one dared to talk about

That made the new vision strong

And past present in her dreams

Reminding her the truth 

Had been loud all along.

She had to take care of it

Far from broken home

Awake in blissed silence

Consoled by the sky

Protected by its sword

Outspoken and small

Put aside with her truth

No one dared to talk about.

No one knew what she saw then

Now no one will see what she knew.