Hunger

I'll give you gladly what you're craving for

right now, right here, no lies

find mockery, the trickery

the infamous evil eyes

While you squint contentedly

I steal your precious time

was that part of your victory

translating simple rhymes

There's no fire at your place

you crave for smoke of someone's myth

or void in your neighbors house

to claim your own as a gift

I'll give you gladly what you're craving for

right here, right now, no lies

you see what you want to see

words can't feed such eyes.

Girls

Erasing all the kindness

to justify the cruelty

of a broken heart

Erasing all the truth

to create your own

to publish it free of rights

Hating all the beauty

and the simplicity of heart

of all that's not a construct

Punishing faults

to gain superiority

that helps you stand upright

Changing masks each season

to become what you condemn

to make us all pay

Cause girls hate girls

who feel loved and safe

who bow to no one. 

She collects the pain

She collects the pain
while staying untouched
she knows she can take
a little too much.
She walks around in flames
and kisses without knowing
the shadows make her pray
her love is key to bonding.
Her spirit chews his hate
and transforms it into longing
she sees his seed and craves
to help him choose his growing.
She bleeds from stake in hands
her wounds shall heal she knows it
she collects the pain
she loves the unloving.

numinosum

Only humility can handle the greatness

through letting go we win the fight

the more we yak the less we say,

strong structure plants freedom to life.

The way we cry is the way we heal,

the less we face the more we fear.

The more we give, the more we get

that small wave you see

has no beginning and no end. 

You were never wrong

You've doubted yourself again

the tests of patience are too tough

captivated by the moments

that have no meaning and no heart.

Embrace the empty dots

face the old fears and lies

every time those triggers 

come clicking at your side.

It's like your own prosecution

having no one behind

not trusting what you know

letting others let you down.

You've doubted yourself again

by believing you were wrong

wrong is the wrong word

a curse to make you gone.

You know they love to make a snowman 

during summer, when it's hot

even though they wouldn't know

why they love it, must be fun.

Let it melt, let it pass 

you know how it goes

you have already been there

darling, you were never wrong.

Little Red Riding Hood

I would have stayed

a girl said,

years and years ago

I would never do to you

what you did to me.

The boy smiled as if

he conquered the world

that's all that ever mattered

having power over her.

Another,

and another one,

he had no better clue.

He loved his strings

he loved his ties

he loved all those tears of youth.

But little did he know

she would never come back.

Never 

ever ever

has she ever lost that bet.

Never would she fall 

for the traces of a wolf

she could smell their steps

clearer than lilies in bloom.

She never let them lure her

into the underground holes

and so she slept peacefully

forever, free of restless claws.

Everything changed

Today I've changed my ringtone -

an omen for new chapter

while some girls cut their hair,

I don't repeat such mistakes...

I've picked the song you couldn't stand

the one you mocked when it played

today I love it even more

it makes me happy with each call

Since I've stopped doing nails

I wear them boring and plain 

just the way you hate it,

small things bring change.

I got better I got smarter

like the women you dishonored

the ones you were afraid of

cause it was never you they cared for...

I've loved since those days

I've loved more than before

and I don't have to bother

what could be, what's it for.

Since I've met my freedom

in tiny moments, to this age

I could never go back

I could never love the cage.

Lady K Quilts, Madonna art (Ray of light)

111

I'll tell you a story

that hit me from the sky

a full heart in my coffee

without knowing why

an unexpected longing

that made me feel so sad

for all of the reasons

I just can't explain. 

It is not of me

It is not mine

yet the way it consumes me

it's almost cruel and unkind. 

The magic keeps flowing

it fills my early mornings

and I've quit chain smoking

I've quit worse than any high.

So when they say I've never had it

or how I've chosen safety gates

I just choke in the face

of what they call love and fate...

It's not of me

It's not mine

Or is it 

Am I that unkind

Bliss

I've heard ''keep it to yourself''

so I've swallowed knife in silence

I pretended I was hungry

I broke the iron bars.

I've escaped the boring questions

I woke up in different colors

the rain could not wash them 

so I prayed they would not last.

The floor went shaking slowly

my heart was beating fast

2 AM in the morning

it played Jumping Jack Flash. 

The music sounded holy

I felt bliss after the pain

but was that really glory,

heartbeats made of blade.

If anything

No kindness has ever been ordinary

soft pillows do not bring a change

rules have no creation

and madness seems to be the only way.

If there's spark that ever mattered at all

it was in the mad ones and feelers

if there's anything important at all

it's out of these lines and inside believers.

No grace has ever been basic

no love has ever been lukewarm

truth never cared about the pricing

fire never had the second thought. 

He's still coming

Clowns and piggies

peacocks and pigeons

shady businessmen

in their trending suits

drunkards and dealers

scarred lips, local leaders

dancing for their summit

but He's still coming.

Can't say His name

they play their songs out loud

it's the fear of His day

as if the world should fall down.

Hiding through repetition

hiding behind the glass

they summoned Santa

but He still comes last.

For those in doubt

and hearts broken

those with hope

of a wounded child

those who don't care 

what world can offer

He comes as king 

of the moon and stars.

No need to cry

You were supposed to protect her 

teach her the world was safe.

You should have made her fall in love 

with her youth and her laugh.

You had the chance to light up her sky 

and grow her glowing wings.

You had such tremendous power

you got it from her heart. 

And now that all of it is gone, 

you still don't get it.

You were supposed to ignite her heart, 

not consume it. 

So if you're left thirsty, do not cry. 

Those wings have grown inward and backwards. 

Cloud Dragon by FireFlux Studios

Theft for illusion (The plan)

They tried but could not love her

They would not admit it.

Taking away everything

That made her part of this world

Gave them sense of deep pleasure

And morbid victory

Over something they could not have

Something they hated

Something she carried 

Who gave her that thing?

They had reasons to do that

They spoke of her flaws

But she had been a stain on their wall

Long before the anger

From the first day she spoke

And first day she wrote

This was a perfect chance to place her 

And show her who she was

Dependable, small, senseless, weak

Mute, rude and completely unnecessary. 

She chose not to contemplate this

And lived by the unlocked doors

Until few drinks spoke

Clearer than reason could ever

Revealing the old box

No one dared to talk about

That made the new vision strong

And past present in her dreams

Reminding her the truth 

Had been loud all along.

She had to take care of it

Far from broken home

Awake in blissed silence

Consoled by the sky

Protected by its sword

Outspoken and small

Put aside with her truth

No one dared to talk about.

No one knew what she saw then

Now no one will see what she knew.

Test of time (Cross roads)

All that's worthy takes time
on the path of heavy questions

your feet full of wounds

and a humbling sacrifice. 

A vain heart wanders 

in search of new fame

in search of shortcut bridges

with their own written name.

They call themselves holy, 

healers, mystics, stars

they've learnt few special words

to feed on souls while passing time

they move like golden snakes

and spread arms like giant birds

they take off their clothes

when left out of fancy words

they chant around bridges

they preach of holy grail

they despise your blood

they despise their own shame.

Do not speak to them

do not get seduced

the rocky road you're on

is the only one to choose.

Water your flames

The same tears that saw you

come from fireplace

The same mother gave birth

to river and the flames

and if I say I love you

I don't claim your space

my spirit is free because

it doesn't come from this place

The tenderness looks young

and patience speaks so slow

their power is ancient

they never grow old

when you mock behind their back

they pretend they don't know

they let you draw your path

of spoken words, yours alone

The vanity comes last

to the table of our host

it's the final guest

it's the dictator and the whore

when the war is over

she eats from every plate

you have to let her be

water your flames 

she'll eat to death.

Decomposition

I wish I didn't see
I wish it wasn't me

I sing to your song

I let it all flow

until I'm dry and cold

until I'm all gone

you want to hear your song

I let it all flow.

I wish I didn't know

why your eyes disappear

I wish I didn't hear

the sound which hides the scream

you love me cause I flow

I wish I didn't know

you hate me cause I see

you steal my soul from me

I wish I didn't see

all that conquers me

all that has to be

I flow and disappear

Love

I've blocked your number
and renamed you into monster

I know it sounds like horror

the horror was the why

sorrow hidden in the distance

you've sacrificed us all

in the name of comfort

and legion from the dark

and now while you're weak

a walking empty vessel

I've renamed you back

to a name you once had

you will always be forgiven. 

Hushed

Sly moves might help you

to backstab friends in halls

has that made you feel bigger

has that made your face glow

your poor glutton heart 

feeds from empty veins

when there's no warm blood 

it uses poison instead.

Truth becomes hateful

good becomes bad

givers get punished

takers rule from cold air.

Support turns to envy

trust turns to shame

greed starts exploiting

love for lowest aim. 

But in an upside-down world 

things must turn the other way

snakes bite their tails

evil eyes lose their veil

your dance was never yours

you've stolen the whole stage

think of it as silent show

it's quiet only while we play. 

Circus, Theatre Elysium

Most loyal of them all

I'm loyal to my passion
I'm loyal to my dreams
I'm loyal to my childhood
I'm loyal to what it means.
I'm loyal to these feelings
I'm loyal to these thoughts
loyal to my struggling
I'm loyal to my flaws.
I'm loyal to disappointment
loyal to my fears
I'm loyal to running
far from common things.
I'm loyal to my tears
I'm loyal to their walls
I'm loyal to the magic
of the unspoken thoughts.

I'm loyal to forgiveness

I'm loyal to my rage

I'm loyal to my hope

and the need for change.

I'm loyal to my guilt

and a sense of shame

loyal to illusion

of being kind of strange.

I'm loyal to destroying

my own path to sin

and every petty longing

for glorifying thrills.

I'm loyal to forgetting

I'm loyal to tattoos

I'm loyal to denying

I am weak and bruised.

I'm loyal to surviving

in this hyper colored place

I'm loyal to describing

every new phase.

I'm loyal to your secrets

I'm loyal to your words

and if I learned to own it

being loyal wouldn't hurt.

Kandinsky, Sans titre, 1944

Waves

Love moves like water

sly and unnoticed

takes you before you know it, 

pulls you under, deep down.

Very often it just sways you

to keep you still and calm

and in such carrying moments

you might meet paradise.

Love burns like fire

just ignore each burn

wounds won't disturb you

when you own the burning light. 

Love stays solid 

like the old earth

the ground never leaves you

new fruits must come to life.

And as the wind, 

love knows no limits 

has no compass, no regrets

It shakes, breaks and dances with you

some love, 

others play well.