Promises they've given us

• You will search forever for an alphabet missing, a place, a song, a soul. There will be moments of clarity and people who will help you save your faith. 
• You will understand many, not many will understand you. Those who do will feel like a family sent in right moments. You will know them.
• Some will get to hate you for seeing them. 
• To cry is to clean yourself, and you will cry easily. Don't close the flow or you'll get flooded with things others don't have to process.
• The need to find the right coping mechanisms for incoming informations and emotions is your basic need. It means you can choose either destruction or healing, there is no in between.
• You will learn to hold on to your truth when gaslighted, through life experience and pain. Other important lessons are acceptance, patience and forgiveness. 
• Every soul has a purpose. Your purpose is connected to bringing stuff to light while breaking ties and your own heart. 
• You will get angry, you will walk through it on your own. There is no pain or injustice bigger than God's promise.
• Nothing and everything matters. You'll feel like walking contradiction and such is the truth.
• The source is love and through love you'll rember. 
• Don't bother explaining it. 

Art by Sofia Golovanova - Grimes

Test of time (Cross roads)

All that's worthy takes time
on the path of heavy questions

your feet full of wounds

and a humbling sacrifice. 

A vain heart wanders 

in search of new fame

in search of shortcut bridges

with their own written name.

They call themselves holy, 

healers, mystics, stars

they've learnt few special words

to feed on souls while passing time

they move like golden snakes

and spread arms like giant birds

they take off their clothes

when left out of fancy words

they chant around bridges

they preach of holy grail

they despise your blood

they despise their own shame.

Do not speak to them

do not get seduced

the rocky road you're on

is the only one to choose.

Transparency

• You're not sensitive, you're aware of  your surrounding.

• You're not slow, you're in your own process.

• You're not resentful, you have boundaries.

• You're not detached, you're at more places at once.

• You're not complicated, you see many outcomes.

• You're not quiet, you hear more than words.

• You're not boring, you're bored by emptiness.

• You're not a loner, you see through masks.

• You're not picky, you don't like shelves.

• You're not fearful, you're humble.

• You're not selfish, you acknowledge yourself.

• You're not weird, you refuse affectation. 

• You're not reactive, you're alive.

Water your flames

The same tears that saw you

come from fireplace

The same mother gave birth

to river and the flames

and if I say I love you

I don't claim your space

my spirit is free because

it doesn't come from this place

The tenderness looks young

and patience speaks so slow

their power is ancient

they never grow old

when you mock behind their back

they pretend they don't know

they let you draw your path

of spoken words, yours alone

The vanity comes last

to the table of our host

it's the final guest

it's the dictator and the whore

when the war is over

she eats from every plate

you have to let her be

water your flames 

she'll eat to death.

Decomposition

I wish I didn't see
I wish it wasn't me

I sing to your song

I let it all flow

until I'm dry and cold

until I'm all gone

you want to hear your song

I let it all flow.

I wish I didn't know

why your eyes disappear

I wish I didn't hear

the sound which hides the scream

you love me cause I flow

I wish I didn't know

you hate me cause I see

you steal my soul from me

I wish I didn't see

all that conquers me

all that has to be

I flow and disappear

Love

I've blocked your number
and renamed you into monster

I know it sounds like horror

the horror was the why

sorrow hidden in the distance

you've sacrificed us all

in the name of comfort

and legion from the dark

and now while you're weak

a walking empty vessel

I've renamed you back

to a name you once had

you will always be forgiven. 

Plamen

Najtoplije riječi nemaju potrebu za glasom

tama je ta što traži lijek razumijevanja

ono što sjaji odbija potvrdu

ono što osvaja ne poznaje riječ

niti jedan jezik ne može dotaknuti plamen

bez da obezvrijedi njegovu snagu.

Zato je najmudrije slikati sam odraz

u nasumičnim bojama, bez razumnog slijeda

nizati crveno, žuto, zlatno

toplo, hladno, sakriveno, snažno 

odustati od razuma, pospremiti boje

i moliti Boga da te zaobiđe sjena.

Hushed

Sly moves might help you

to backstab friends in halls

has that made you feel bigger

has that made your face glow

your poor glutton heart 

feeds from empty veins

when there's no warm blood 

it uses poison instead.

Truth becomes hateful

good becomes bad

givers get punished

takers rule from cold air.

Support turns to envy

trust turns to shame

greed starts exploiting

love for lowest aim. 

But in an upside-down world 

things must turn the other way

snakes bite their tails

evil eyes lose their veil

your dance was never yours

you've stolen the whole stage

think of it as silent show

it's quiet only while we play. 

Circus, Theatre Elysium

Most loyal of them all

I'm loyal to my passion
I'm loyal to my dreams
I'm loyal to my childhood
I'm loyal to what it means.
I'm loyal to these feelings
I'm loyal to these thoughts
loyal to my struggling
I'm loyal to my flaws.
I'm loyal to disappointment
loyal to my fears
I'm loyal to running
far from common things.
I'm loyal to my tears
I'm loyal to their walls
I'm loyal to the magic
of the unspoken thoughts.

I'm loyal to forgiveness

I'm loyal to my rage

I'm loyal to my hope

and the need for change.

I'm loyal to my guilt

and a sense of shame

loyal to illusion

of being kind of strange.

I'm loyal to destroying

my own path to sin

and every petty longing

for glorifying thrills.

I'm loyal to forgetting

I'm loyal to tattoos

I'm loyal to denying

I am weak and bruised.

I'm loyal to surviving

in this hyper colored place

I'm loyal to describing

every new phase.

I'm loyal to your secrets

I'm loyal to your words

and if I learned to own it

being loyal wouldn't hurt.

Kandinsky, Sans titre, 1944

34

 Things I've learnt so far

• First impression is more often true than we tend to admit
• Body is one of the portals to our soul and a memory keeper
• You will attract people not only by what you need, but by what they need also... 
• When you feel like you might need help, you do. God shows us the path at the right time, but you alone are responsible to take it. 
• if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. 
• Most lies people tell are the lies they tell themselves
• Dishonesty and self-righteousness are the main enemies to human relations
• Sometimes people worship animals because animals are the only creatures who can silently tolerate their lack of human compassion 
• Money isn't the key to freedom, class, love, wisdom and doesn't always equal to talent and effort
• You can't buy or sell the living truth
• People and life have been the same from the beginning of the time
• Evil loves to copy the beauty of truth
• Truth always comes to surface and wins
• Nothing can pass without consequence 
• One year is usually the longest period someone can hold on to pretending and fooling others
• Spiritual world is real
• Subconscious patterns recognize each other
• Things happen in spiritual world before they happen here
• There are two ways to living: ego oriented and God oriented. The first one is draining and addictive, the second one is calming and inspiring
• Sometimes your moral duty is to break people's rules
• Dark things hide in dark
• A disease never comes alone
• No obsession is healthy, not even the obsession to stay healthy
• Never underestimate the power of propaganda
• Never trust people based on how confident they are in what they say and believe in
• Never fully trust people, but try to love them
• Love yourself the way you are loved by God
• Humility test is the easiest test for the authenticity of a graceful soul
• Don't force anything
• Don't give too much credit to your current mood, it might change the next second
• People's words and actions are not your responsibility
• Life is pain. Learn to accept the heavy side of life, otherwise you will fall into abyss of self pity and hate
• Gratefulness is love
• Prayer is powerful