I'm not gonna professionally label any of such behavior, although I do believe in psychological labels. Reading about narcissism in relationships and working places, naming it and talking about it with different people has opened my eyes to realness and seriousness of these diseases and possible dangerous consequences to anyone who has walked near these parts of hell.
I'm gonna speak from pure intuition and almost a spiritual urge to heal myself while I may help someone else.
Before you read my words, you should educate yourself first on the basics of mental disorders and trauma symptoms, on possible consequences of interacting and co-living with toxic personalities, such as narcissistic personas, different kind of abusers, abuse symptoms, victim mentality, possible ways of healing, etc.
How to defend yourself in front of all these toxicity you may find? First way is recognizing what is toxic. And then, when you know your enemy, you know what to do.
So I'm gonna make my own labels to simplify these things, but never to underestimate the complexity and seriousness of them. Maybe I'll steal some names from the popular existing self-help content. The most important thing, for me at least, is to understand these things on everyday basics and how they function, so that people with similar sensitivity to the world can find ways to protect their souls and spare themselves from the pain they don't have to make their own.
1. People can suck your energy for real. Some do it on purpose, some are not aware of it.
2. You have every right to leave the suckers place, even if you think its gonna hurt them, and even if you think the sucker is a good person. You don't help a junkie if you give him candy money.
3. You have been a blood sucking victim if you feel so drained at the end of a day as if you haven't slept at all (even you slept at least 7 hours and even you have no objective reason to feel so exhausted) and you have no strength for any activity outside of what you have to do on a regular basis every day.
4. You have been a blood sucking victim if you feel you have lost your mental clarity and the gift of talk, if you tend to isolate yourself because you feel as if you have lost all the words and your own voice, even breath. You feel you can't keep focus on anything.
5. You might have been a blood sucking victim if you started to get headaches more often, if you feel you should gain your energy from the sweets and unhealthy diet.
6. You have been a blood sucking victim every time you feel a sudden loss of life energy and optimism after interaction with a certain person - a sudden mild fever, a sudden drop in self-esteem, invasion of self-doubt, irrational irritability and moodiness.
7. Blood suckers have no sense for the other or sense of moderation. They use your personal time as if there's no one but them and their story. Your sense of time and personal space mean nothing, as well as your needs and your own life story. They love to talk a lot, mostly about their super self, and when one on one - they don't have the urge to stop, ever.
8. Blood suckers choose their people wisely. People who impress them, people to impress. People who are financially satisfied, social butterflies, people who flatter them, people of their personal use and interest. Their partners are often financially secure or wealthy, intelligent, successful, or good looking. Their friends are their admirers. They show their true feelings and behavior when confronted to a certain person for a longer period of time - manipulation, lies, rage, impatience, intolerance, immorality.
9. You may get sudden rash or urge to scratch yourself when in their personal space and presence for a longer time. You may see unusual things, as bugs where there usually are none, technology malfunctioning, etc.
10. Blood suckers are in different ways very charming. They are often more intelligent than they act, but less intelligent than they believe they actually are. Some of them are acting as intelligent as they believe they are, but their only weapon is the stolen energy, stolen personalities and fast learning - fast copying mechanism. How smart they will present themselves depends on their target and manipulation method they'll use. If they are female and good looking, they may go for the superficial seduction card, same goes with males. It also depends more on their personal value system/ambitions.
11. As we said, they are professional copy-cats. Their art is copying everything they find personally appealing. Their inspiration source is never internal. They have no shame in proclaiming someone else's work or idea as their own. They aren't loyal to their tastes and life choices as they have no idea who they really are.
12. You may be fooled into thinking they are super emotional beings. Blood suckers have no mature empathy. Their tears are the tears of a wounded child who lost their toy as they can cry easily.
13. Blood sucking partners show their true, sometimes hidden, aggressive side when they feel their partner caught their bait or when they feel threatened by truth. Aggression can be verbal, physical, passive, loud, silent, and it is a natural part of the blood sucker's character. It comes in a package with manipulative behavior, lying, cheating, gas lighting, stealing. This is where the other partner realizes something is seriously off, this is where other partner's soul slowly fades away in serious mental pain.
14. Their general motivation is always external - recognition, money, fame, praise, social approval. Their fear is public shame and they fear the truth. Like a vampire fears the light.
15. Blood sucking parents are over controlling, often projecting on their children, making them feel as if they are in eternal debt for being born. They raise them in the atmosphere of panic, in the state of constant potential danger and they often use emotional blackmailing to control their emotions and behavior. They shame their children's personal choices, be it in friendship, love, career. All of this may be common in any family, but when in toxic ones, it's all very dominant and there's no place for love, peace and happy childhood or adulthood later. These children aren't allowed to grow as free, confident and unique individuals.
16. Blood suckers have very often some other kind of addictive behavior other than other's people blood hunger. They may be drinkers, adrenaline hunters, have eating disorders, shopping obsession, promiscuity, etc. This doesn't mean any person with this kind of behavior is a blood sucker. Some people have many wounds to heal, some have learnt certain behavior from their close environment, while some really do not choose the means to get a fix of current pleasure, at any cost.
17. Blood suckers are interested in you as long as you are a mystery to them. They are not interested in real people.They are the only ones who are real in their own world. Don't think they can understand your own pain or perspective - yours is usually irrelevant. As long as you play the role of their own personal idea, they will show interest - until they meet another idea. It takes some time to clean yourself from their toxicity even when it lasted short. In that process you may catch yourself carrying their emotional ''clothes'' - negative emotions, attitudes, words, certain motions. It's the consequence of mutual ''feeding'' and co-dependency - unhealthy relationship, and it will wear off in separation like everything else.
18. Strangely, as much as they are irrational or self centered, their intuition works perfectly in their benefit. Like wild animals, they sense when things don't work for them, they sense when they are close to being exposed, or when something doesn't go according to their plan. They can read your body language when they want to, but you can always fool them back by pretending you admire them in any way, since it's their favorite thing to believe in. Why would you to that? Well, let's say you don't want to have conflict with these people and sometimes the smartest thing you can do is leave with a fake smile.
19. They somehow come to your life when there's something beautifully happening to your soul. When you are getting close to God, or whatever you believe in, when you get close to the importance of life through any kind of selfless love, when you get that coin of simple luck, or you might just be a perfect bait. Maybe you are a simply a passionate and selfless person by nature. But as much as this will hurt, all these words mean nothing unless you experience them, and you will. You will become an expert and no blood sucker will ever be able to hurt you again or make you question yourself, your pure intuitive soul which came here for a reason. Let's call you a lightholder, cause that's what you are.
20. Lightholders are often born into and lead to blood sucking environments. Don't let this make you believe you are here to change the blood sucker - whatever is happening, you were never responsible for these people and you are not here to change them nor you are able to. You can help in your own way, but your responsibility is to protect yourself and sometimes maybe other people. Your path is to grow in love and help other lightholders grow. God has made all of us so different and each one of us has a secret weapon to survive in this world. Survival mode is a regular mode for the lightholders, don't feel guilt because of it and don't make anyone make you believe something is off with you. This whole world is in survival mode and your heart is a healthy part of it. Most of the time. Keep the faith.
There's more to this, but let's stick to number 20 and pretend we are smarter than five minutes ago. When falling down, it's good to remind ourselves some things over and over again just to get back on the track. Our hearts are more forgetful than we think. Also when flying high, it's even more important not to forget the surprising ways life can lead us to the purest light we've been created for. Even if that means terrible pain.
"You are a funny animal," he said at last. "You are no thicker than a finger . . ."
"But I am more powerful than the finger of a king," said the snake.
The little prince smiled.
"You are not very powerful. You haven't even any feet. You cannot even travel . . ."
"I can carry you farther than any ship could take you," said the snake.
He twined himself around the little prince's ankle, like a golden bracelet.
"Whomever I touch, I send back to the earth from whence he came," the snake spoke again. "But you are innocent and true, and you come from a star . . ."
The little prince made no reply.
x
